Think First or Ask First? You Need Both

In parent groups you often see two camps. One says kids should think for themselves first, or they'll come to depend on help. The other says if you're stuck you should ask, because grinding away is a waste of time. Both are right, because they're talking about two different kinds of problem.

What's good about thinking first?

When you have a lead on a problem, spending a while on it yourself pays off. What you work out stays with you, and even if you get it wrong, you know which step went wrong. Asking first is a pity here, because the explanation will flatten the line of thought you were building. So if you have a lead, think first, then check the answer and see where you went off track.

What's good about asking first?

When you have no idea where to start, grinding away just burns time. A child sits staring at the problem, an hour goes by, nothing is written, and all that's left is frustration. Ask first with these: listen to an explanation, learn how this kind of problem works, then try a similar one yourself. Now "thinking for yourself" has something to work with.

How do you decide which order to use?

One question is enough: ask your child to say what the problem is testing. If they can say, think first. If they can't, ask first. Take a second-year middle school physics problem on buoyancy. If your child says, "This is about buoyancy, but I don't know how to compare the buoyant force on the two objects", they have a lead, so let them think first. With another problem, they read it and can't even say what it's asking. Don't waste their time. Ask first.

How does Duowenwen fit into both orders?

For a problem you thought about first, photograph it afterward and look at the explanation to see which step you got wrong. That step is your next question. For a problem you asked about first, photograph it, listen to the explanation, then tap "another one like this" and do it yourself. It never rushes you in either order, and it never scores you. Whichever order you choose, it picks up from there.

If they ask first, will they stop thinking for themselves?

Not as long as there's a "do a similar one" step after asking. Asking first is about getting something to work with, and doing a similar problem yourself is the real thinking. Skip that step and asking first really does turn into copying. That's why the "keep asking" prompts Duowenwen offers after an explanation often include "change the conditions and try another one". Tapping it gets your child working with their own hands, not listening to the same thing again.

What should a parent say from the sidelines?

Say "think for yourself first" less, because it so often turns into "why haven't you worked it out yet?" Try: "What is this problem testing? Tell me." If they can say, wait quietly. If they can't, say, "Then ask first, and do a similar one afterwards." Two sentences, and you don't need to know the problem.

Next: the next time your child is stuck, ask them to say what the problem is testing, then decide whether to think first or ask first.